I am not a perfect wife. I make mistakes and get selfish. I put my own needs above my husband's needs plenty. Last Spring I was looking for some help in changing this and my friend Shawna Lee suggested The Husband Project. I took her advice and it worked to adjust my attitude towards one of service towards my husband and not one of entitlement. I finally feel ready to share it with all of you and invite you to do it with me.
The only reason I feel confident sharing this advice with you is because I know it works. And I know it works because I have done everything I am going to share with you. I've seen the change in my house when I do these things and it was good.
We are going to take a 5-day journey together. Five days of loving our husbands intentionally in ways that mean something to them. This won't be about us and our needs, it will be about meeting 1 of his needs each day. Each day I'll share 1 "project" that we will do together. I'll share how it worked out for me and my husband and ask you to do the same. There will be happy times. There will be frustration. There will be lots of love. AND, there will be prizes! You have to play along at least 1 day to be eligible to win the prizes.
Let me introduce you to my friend and the creative genius who came up with this idea - Kathi Lipp. She wrote the book that makes husband's every where happy - The Husband Project - 21 Days of Loving Your Man on Purpose and with a Plan. Our 5-day project was designed by her to introduce this idea to as many wives as possible. At the end of the project, I'll be giving away a copy of this book along with lots of other goodies!
Let's get started with the first project! Try to do this tonight if you can.
Would he like to be left alone to rest and rejuvenate, or does he want some undivided attention from you? What would show him you value his work and want him to feel like home is a safe place?
My husband has a 50 minute commute home at the end of his day. He spends all day with 7th graders and really needs that quiet time on his motorcycle to help ease his transition. Does that mean he is ready to deal with cranky, hungry children when he walks in the door? No. So, every now and again, I let him know in the morning that when he comes home, I want him to head straight upstairs to decompress for 30 minutes or so.
Already, some of you have come up with all sorts of excuses as to why you just can't do this. That's okay. Kathi has suggested some ways you can make this work for you, even if hubby works from home:
- My friend, Joann, purposely scheduled her daughter’s dance classes twice a week at the same hour that her husband gets home from work. That way, her hubby comes home to an empty house. He gets some quiet, and she gets a more peaceful man.
- One husband has his workshop out in the garage. His wife encourages him to go and hang out there for a while before dinner. (Since starting this arrangement, her husband has started helping out with the after-dinner clean up. Nice side benefit.)
- Crockpots are The Husband Project’s best friend. Set your crockpot to be finished thirty minutes after your husband gets home from work. Let him know that you don’t need anything until dinner is ready. Don’t know a crockpot from a flower pot? Check out the recipes in The Ultimate Guide to Man Food at www.kathilipp.com.
- Does your husband already have a great transition routine after getting home? Find some other little thing to bless that time. Maybe it’s making sure the TV is available, his favorite sweats are clean and ready to be changed into, or there’s a cold soda waiting for him in the fridge. It may be so small that he doesn’t even notice. That’s okay – you’ll know what you did.
- What if your husband works from home? Maybe the best way to help him relax is to ask what he would like the schedule to be. Does he want dinner before or after he gets some time to recharge? Ask him what would make his night better.
So there's your assignment for today - bless your husband with 30 minutes of his transitional time to do with as he pleases. You don't have to do it every day. Just one day. Just 30 minutes.
Leave a comment to let me know how you plan to complete this assignment. Or if you've done it already, how did it go? Do you have any tips or advice for other wives? Each comment counts towards an entry into a great prize pack that I'll reveal more of as the days go by.