Family Musings

Friday, May 09, 2008

It is hard to believe that I have been working on our sleep issues for a solid month. Apart from the fact that I really miss sleeping in my bedroom, we are actually making progress. Now that Charlotte has finally cut her top 2 teeth, she is much less fussy and needy at night. We have also stopped our nightly doses of baby Tylenol.

Our typical night now has Charlotte nursing to sleep around 8 pm and then staying asleep until 11 pm. From there, she is pretty consistent with her 2 am and 4 am wakings. One of the hardest parts for me is that when she falls back asleep after her 4 am waking, I have to wake her up by 6 am in order to get her dressed and nursed before we go to school. I know her sleep would be better overall if I didn't have to interrupt it so much.

There is something I am getting better at though. I am not getting her at her first cries because she really does cry and fuss in her sleep. And if she persists and doesn't seem to be going back to sleep, I try to comfort her without picking her up first. It seems to be working. Though last night, when I went to her she was sitting up and terribly confused. She couldn't figure out how to get back down.

Apparently, Bruce thinks Charlotte and I look cute when she is sleeping across my belly. So, he took this picture on the right the other morning. I am purposely keeping it small so you can't zoom in on my middle of the night face. If I knew he was coming, I'd have put some make-up on. Just kidding... it is really my thighs I don't want you to see!

Labels: No-Cry Sleep Solution

# Posted by Jennifer @ | 9:00 PM | Comments 0

Monday, April 28, 2008

Night 20 - No Cry Sleep Solution

It has been a few days since my last sleep update and I'm not sure if I can report this as progress or not. For the last several nights (with the exception of Saturday night) she has been going to bed right around 8 pm and then waking up at 11 pm, 1 or 2 am, and 4 am.

Last night, after she pulled off, she kept shaking her head back and forth about 5 or 6 times, until she finally got it nestled in just where she wanted it. I'm not sure though, how her leg ended up propped up on the wall while she slept last night though. Bizarre.

I was hoping we'd have more to report about sleeping through the night by now, but since we don't, I keep reminding myself that even Elizabeth Pantley said it can take a minimum of 2 months to see any improvement.

Labels: No-Cry Sleep Solution, picture

# Posted by Jennifer @ | 9:49 PM | Comments 0

Friday, April 25, 2008

Night 16 - No Cry Sleep Solution

I am happy to report that last night was much like the night before. Charlotte woke around 11, 2, & 4. Momma feels more rested after 2 good nights than she has in a very long time. Let's pray it keeps getting better.

I was worried though because our routine was a little off yesterday. After we came home from daycare and nursed, Charlotte fell asleep for about 1 hour and 45 minutes. When she woke up at 6:45 or so, I knew she probably wouldn't want to go back to bed at 8 pm. So I fed her about half a jar of Apples and Apricots (which she liked much better this evening), then let her play with the Cheerios before finally bathing her around 7:45.

We quickly worked through the routine and ended up skipping story time with Daddy because she became suddenly very hungry and tired all at once.

We have some plans for this afternoon which mean we will get home late. Hopefully she will stay happy while we are out and we can do the routine when we come back. At the very least, I get to sleep in tomorrow morning.

Labels: No-Cry Sleep Solution

# Posted by Jennifer @ | 10:09 AM | Comments 0

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Night 15 - No Cry Sleep Solution

We've been trying to adjust Charlotte's sleep patterns for 15 nights now. I'd like to report that we have consistently moved in the right direction. But, instead it seems like one step forward then two steps back.

Last night was a step forward. Charlotte went down at her 8 PM nursing and stayed down until about 11:15 PM. I brought her into bed to nurse her again and we both fell asleep until 1:15 AM or so. We nursed again, only this time I stayed awake and put her into her crib when she was done. Then, praise God, she didn't wake again until 4:30! That 3 hour stretch is the longest one so far since we started more than 2 weeks ago.

I am not really sure what made last night different. Could it have been the Cheerios before bath time? The 3 different types of baby food she did NOT want to eat? The trip to the mall, did it wear her out? I don't know. But, I do know:

She likes Honey Nut Cheerios and can eat them if I break them in half now.
She didn't like Apples & Apricots, Corn & Butternut Squash, or Peaches upon her first tastes last night. We will try again tonight.
She still loves her Baby Bjorn and flashing smiles to everyone she meets at the mall.

Sorry I don't have any pictures... I need to pull them off my camera.

Labels: food, No-Cry Sleep Solution

# Posted by Jennifer @ | 6:55 AM | Comments 0

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Night 8 - No Cry Sleep Solution

Again, I think we only woke up 2 times last night. Charlotte spent a few hours in her crib and the rest in bed with me. I still find myself co-sleeping because it takes less mental energy from me in the middle of the night. That's okay with me. My main goal is to get Charlotte to not need to be latched on and for her to sleep more than 2 hours straight.

I was worried about how the night would go since her routine was a bit off last night. I ran an couple of errands up to Lake Wales and didn't get home until almost 7:30. I did a quick nursing on one side and then let Daddy do his part of quiet play and story time. When we laid down to go to sleep it didn't take as long though since she was probably extra tired from our trip out.

Here is a picture of both of us sleeping the day we brought her home from the hospital. I really can't believe how much she has grown. Last night one of our errands was to church and many people to chatted with hadn't seen her in more than a few weeks. They almost all commented how much she is changing. I like to look at these pictures myself to remember that.

Labels: No-Cry Sleep Solution, picture

# Posted by Jennifer @ | 6:09 AM | Comments 1

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Night 7 - No Cry Sleep Solution

Yesterday Charlotte took 2, 2 hour and 15 minute naps at daycare. When I saw that as I picked Charlotte up, I was really hoping that Erica's theory about sleep begetting sleep is right.

And I think it is. But it is hard to know because I only remember waking up a couple of times last night. Charlotte only slept in her crib for the first 2 hours of the night and then came in with me, but she wasn't attached to me all night thank goodness. I think we are making progress.

Labels: No-Cry Sleep Solution

# Posted by Jennifer @ | 6:57 AM | Comments 0

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Night 6 - No Cry Sleep Solution

What a difference a schedule makes! Yesterday we were back on track and our night time was so much better. I don't really remember the specifics, but I know we didn't wake up every 60 minutes... couldn't have based on how I felt this morning.

Still praying for 3 hours of solid sleep from the girl so I can get my beauty rest!

Labels: No-Cry Sleep Solution

# Posted by Jennifer @ | 9:25 AM | Comments 0

Monday, April 14, 2008

Night 5 - No Cry Sleep Solution

I learned the hard way that consistency is IMPORTANT. On Sunday our routine was very different from what it had been and Charlotte made it clear that it wasn't working for her.

Anyone who saw us before 6 pm on Sunday thought we had the world's best baby. She took almost a 90 minutes nap while we were eating dinner to give Mommy and Daddy a chance to eat and socialize. But once we got in the car to go home - someone swapped my baby out for one possessed by a demon.

It took us more a little over 2 1/2 hours to make the 1 1/2 hour trip home. We stopped 2 times. Granted, one of those stops included a new Target, but that was only to give her a chance to get out of her baby bucket (aka car seat) since we thought that might be the cause of her unhappiness. Turns out we we wrong.

All of that to say that Sunday night was one of our hardest nights ever. She cried the entire way home, except while we were stopped. Then, once we got home, she refused to sleep unless she was latched on to me. Right now, I am okay with having to nurse to fall asleep, but needing to nurse to STAY asleep? C'mon Charlotte, give momma a break!

This morning all I could say was, "thank God for Dr. Pepper!"

Erica made some great points in her comment below which I agree with wholeheartedly. Charlotte stopped taking a pacifier sometime around 5 months and will only use them as a teething toys now. I would be forever grateful if she was on a consistent schedule. Unfortunately, I don't think that will ever really happen until I am a stay at home mom. Fortunately, in 7 weeks school will be out for the summer and I can test that theory.

As for fussing-it-out, I am with you all the way Erica. I wait to go to her at night until it becomes a cry, though I might stand near her crib while I wait to figure it out. I've also learned that sometimes Daddy can get her down better than I can because she knows he can't nurse her. :)

I also had a productive conversation with my friend Tess. Well, it was productive if you count the fact that at least 3 separate times she told me she never slept more than 2 hours straight for something like 6 years?! Oh my goodness. Now, she has 3 kids, all 2 years apart so that might have something to do with it... but she is a stay at home mom too.

And then today I chatted with another friend Dawn who said she used No-Cry Sleep Solution on her 12-month old several years ago and it worked. The only catch was, it ended up with her weaning from the nursing completely at 13 months. I am not ready to wean yet, but will be seriously considering it when we hit the 12-month mark ourselves. Only 4 months to go.

My goals for this week are:

Nurse her during the day as much as she will let me so that I know she is getting enough to eat,
Start her bedtime routine at 7 pm every night (even though this means we will miss revival services at out church).
Try 4-5 times to do the Pantley Pull-Off each time Charlotte is done nursing, even if it doesn't work. (slipping Charlotte off while she is asleep to help her realize she doesn't need ME to fall or stay asleep).

Labels: No-Cry Sleep Solution

# Posted by Jennifer @ | 6:03 PM | Comments 1

Friday, April 11, 2008

Night 2 - No Cry Sleep Solution

Last night was better in some ways and not in others...

I finished the book when we got home yesterday afternoon and then talked with Bruce to make a bedtime and routine for Charlotte that we could both participate in. We decided an 8 pm bedtime would be best for her so that she could get ~10 hours of sleep to go with her 2-3 hours of naps during the day.

Here is the plan:
7:00 pm - Bath
7:15 pm - Dress in pjs and play in bedroom with daddy
7:30 pm - Book time until she loses interest
7:45 pm - Quite playtime with mommy and nurse 1 more time
8:00 pm - Rock/nurse until she is almost asleep

A key component to making night time sleeping work, according to Pantley, is getting enough daytime sleep. Before reading the book, if Charlotte fell asleep while nursing after school, I would try to keep her awake so she would sleep at night. Apparently, this was hurting and not helping. So, when she fell asleep at 4, I laid her in her crib and she slept for an hour. When she got up, we played and had a normal afternoon.

Then, I nursed Charlotte at 6:30 since she was hungry (it had been 3 hours) and she fell asleep when she was done. Since I wasn't sure what to do now, I just let her stay asleep. That only lasted for about 15 minutes, but it threw us off enough that we didn't start out bedtime routine until 7:30. At close to 8 pm, she began rubbing her eyes so I took over for daddy and nursed her and rocked her. I think somewhere around 9 pm she finally started to fall asleep and I put her into her crib.

She only woke up 1 time between then and 1 am which was an improvement over the night before. I am not going to track her sleeping every night though, that will make me crazy. I'll just wait another week or so and see if our new routines have made a difference. Pantley points out that tracking every night doesn't allow us to see the big picture and we might feel dejected by slow progress. Kind of like weighing ourselves on the scale every day when we are trying to lose weight.

I did not feel as rested when I woke up this morning as I expected. I suspect it was the getting out of bed every time Charlotte made a noise. My biggest obstacle to over come right now is understanding her nighttime noises better and adjusting my response based on her noises. Right now, I am still getting up everytime she makes sound. I am learning not to pick her up every time though.

Hopefully tonight will be better.

Labels: No-Cry Sleep Solution

# Posted by Jennifer @ | 10:39 AM | Comments 1

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Night 1 - No Cry Sleep Solution

It finally arrived! Last night I got my hands on a used copy of The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Nightby Elizabeth Pantely. While I haven't had time to read books hardly at all since Charlotte was born, I somehow managed to find time to read the first 125 pages of this one, all in one afternoon. The basic premise of the book is that there has to be a way to teach a baby to fall asleep without using a crutch and without forcing them to cry-it-out. I knew early on in Charlotte's life that letting her cry-it-out was not an option for our family, so this book seemed like it would be a good fit.

After reading that much of the book I wasn't willing to wait one more night before trying some of the solutions it presented. I have been so tired and sleep-deprived these last few months especially that it is taking more and more caffeine each day to help me function. I cut myself off by 2 pm, but I know it has to be affecting Charlotte in ways that hurt our sleeping arrangement.

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you know we co-sleep to make nighttime feedings simpler and easier for me. Until recently, as in the last few weeks, it was working. Now though, Charlotte is waking up about once an hour and our current arrangement doesn't work anymore. She can't seem to fall or stay asleep without being latched on to me. Recently, she has wanted to lay across my belly while latched on and then falling asleep. Moving her was impossible. She would wake up every time and then we'd start the process all over again. To be generous I'd say I have been getting 30 minutes of sleep for every hour I am in bed, and only in 30-45 minute increments at that. Doing some quick math, that leaves me with ~3-4 hours of sleep between 10 pm and 5:30 am when I have to drag my butt out of bed for work.

If you knew me pre-baby, you would know I NEED a perfect 7 1/2 hours of sleep to be myself. Clearly, co-sleeping and dream feeding are not turning out to be a workable solution for our family. Dr. Sears has said that the best sleep arrangement for a family is the one in which everybody gets the sleep they need (loosely paraphrased).

So.... to make a long story longer... last night I tried putting Charlotte to bed in her crib while I slept on the twin bed in her room. And it only sort of worked. I do feel I got a little bit more sleep last night than usual though because I feel more rested today. There isn't a clock in the room so that could have helped my brain into not realizing how often it woke up.

She work up 3 times between 9:30 and 1:45 am. This is an improvement over every hour. Each time she woke up, I nursed her and then put her back into the crib. By 1:45 am though, I decided to just bring her into bed with me for the rest of the night. I didn't want to over do it the first night.

What I really need to work on is getting her comfortable with her crib as a happy place and convincing her that she does NOT need to be latched on to fall asleep. The latter will definitely be harder for us. When the nipple falls out, she cries and roots until she finds it again. I took Pantely's advice and tried to push her chin up from the bottom and when that didn't work, I let her latch back on for 10-15 seconds. We did this a few times each time she woke up last night and though there was never success in falling asleep without the nipple, I think with time we can make this work.

Please pray for this momma to sort all of this out soon. I need my beauty sleep!

Labels: No-Cry Sleep Solution, sleep

# Posted by Jennifer @ | 9:42 AM | Comments 0

How old is Charlotte?